Know Your Worth – Delving Deeper Into Low Self Esteem Issues
From the day you are born, your self-esteem begins to develop. How you view yourself is directly moulded by the behaviour you witness and the messages you receive from those around you. The secret to understanding your self esteem journey is to aim for awareness and perspective of why you feel the way you do about yourself. Where did it all start? But then, most importantly, once you have those answers, to accept them, let them go and then refocus your energy on reframing the current view you have of yourself.
Here are some ways you can begin to know your true worth:
1. Set some goals
A good place to start is to establish a personal goal for yourself. Look back at your life and consider when your self esteem was at its lowest and highest. Consider what factors would have influenced your feelings at those times. Then set a goal of where you would like to be and what changes you want to see.
Always keeping in mind that goals need to be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time framed.
Unrealistic goals will only lead to disappointment and a sense of failure. Be realistic by focusing on what can be controlled, e.g. you might not be able to change how tall you are but you can aim to live a healthier lifestyle.
2. Erase all negative thoughts about yourself
Stop comparing yourself and your life to who you know and what you see on social media. Replace negative self descriptive statements with positive affirmations. Try drawing up a list of all your positive physical features, character traits, strengths and add a few motivational statements. Perhaps ask those that care about you to contribute a few too. And then, in front of a mirror, read this list to yourself at the beginning and end of every day.
Making sure to include: “What others think of me is none of my business!”
3. Be assertive
Practice saying no.
A fellow psychologist once shared a concept with me that “yes” and “no” always need to be in balance.
If you say “yes” to something, there is more than likely something you are saying “no” to. In the same way, saying “no” to others will open up space for a whole lot of “yeses” to you!
Say “yes” to compliments, accept them graciously and stop discounting praise.
4. Reconnect with who you really are
If you asked yourself the question: “Who am I?”, how easy would it be for you to answer? How can we love ourselves if we don’t even know who we are?!
Think about what you value, what is important to you and what is unacceptable to you.
What or who energizes you and what or who exhausts you? It is time for you to realize that you deserve to have your needs met.
If there is one thing my patients have taught me, it is that a good self esteem is crucial for optimal functioning. Without self confidence, respect or a sense of self worth it is almost impossible to achieve self actualization and reach your unique full potential.
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